“IHOP Introduces Largest Menu Evolution To-Date with New Craveable and Flavorful Lineup Made for Any Time of Day,” announced the chain in March.

Its new “Sweet & Savory Crepes...offer all-day flavors like Cinnamon Bun, Fresh Berry, and Chicken Pesto.”

Take the Breakfast Crepes—“2 crepes filled & rolled with scrambled eggs, hickory-smoked bacon, crispy hash browns, white cheese sauce & jack & cheddar cheeses.”

Ooh-la-la. IHOP is using very thin pancakes to give ordinary breakfast foods a French flair. So chic!

Make that a chic 1,210 calories, 28 grams of saturated fat (1½ days’ worth), and 2,290 milligrams of sodium (a full day’s supply). You might as well sit down to two Big Macs.

(The other crepe flavors range from 540 to 870 calories. And the Cinnamon Bun Crepes pack 12 teaspoons of sugar, most of it added. Bon appétit!)

And don’t think IHOP’s cooks are making your Breakfast Crepes from scratch. From the eggs to the hash browns, the dish contains 60-plus ingredients, including artificial flavors and colors, preservatives, anti-foaming agents, gums, mold inhibitors (yum), and more.

Just what we need: a “craveable” 1,210-calorie ultra-processed food extravaganza...offered all day.