“The ultimate comeback: 17 years after its debut, the cult-favorite P’ZONE is back, returning to Pizza Hut menus nationwide!” announced the chain just in time for this year’s NCAA basketball tournament.

Just what we’ve been waiting for.

For the few poor souls who somehow missed the P’Zone’s earlier fame, here’s how the company describes it: “Sealed inside a toasted parmesan pizza crust, the beloved P’ZONE is filled with savory pizza toppings and melted cheese, baked calzone style and served with marinara dipping sauce.” Beloved? Umm...

The TV ads get right to the point: “It’s meaty, cheesy, melty, and you know it’s big.”

Because if there’s one thing Americans need right now, it’s big, cheap pockets of white flour stuffed with cheese and processed meats like sausage and pepperoni.

Each Meaty P’Zone has 1,150 calories and close to a day’s worth of saturated fat (21 grams) and sodium (2,270 milligrams). It’s like eating two Pizza Hut pepperoni personal pan pizzas.

The Pepperoni (970 calories) and Supremo (980) P’Zones aren’t much better.

“There is a whole generation of people who have never had the P’Zone,” Pizza Hut’s chief brand officer told Forbes. “We thought it would be fun to introduce it to them during March Madness.” Madness, indeed.

pizzahut.com—(800) 948-8488

Photo: Jennifer Urban/CSPI.

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