“Today, IHOP introduces its latest menu innovation of Hand-Crafted Melts, a collection of sandwiches with savory flavors, as part of the restaurant's ongoing commitment to the prioritization of the P.M. daypart and portable menu options,” announced the October press release.

Who wouldn’t want to spend their P.M. daypart sinking their teeth into one of seven cheese-loaded sandwiches?

Take the Pepper Jack Patty Melt. It’s got cheese not just on its “steakburger” patty but also on the “cheese-crusted” bread. So you walk away with 1,250 calories plus 33 grams of saturated fat (1½ days’ worth) and 2,370 milligrams of sodium (a day’s max).

It’s like eating a Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese plus a Triple Cheeseburger at McDonald’s.

And that’s without a side, like onion rings (550 calories), french fries (320), buttermilk pancakes (320), or fruit (50).

Or try the Cheese-Crusted Four Cheese Melt. It’s got cheese on the bread, cheese between the bread, and a tub of cheese (queso) for dipping. All “hand-crafted” with 50-plus ingredients like sodium hexametaphosphate, TBHQ, and artificial color.

“We took the patty melt up a level,” says the company’s website. And if your cholesterol, blood pressure, and weight follow? Not IHOP’s problem.