“For adults who are increasingly looking for alternative sources of caffeine, our new Hostess Boost Jumbo Donettes offer a tasty, energy-boosting, grab-and-go way to jumpstart the day,” says Hostess.

Is that brilliant, or what?

Why bother with a cup of coffee, when you can get almost as much caffeine (50 to 70 milligrams) in a “hearty” 300-calorie donut made mostly of sugar (6 teaspoons), white flour, and palm oil, with a dozen or so tasty additives like sodium acid pyrophosphate, artificial flavor, maltodextrin, and gums thrown in?

It’s like jumpstarting your day with a cup of coffee plus a McDonald’s Hot Fudge Sundae (though the sundae would deliver a decent dose of protein, calcium, and potassium).

And it’s not just breakfast. The Donettes are “a perfect pick-me-up throughout the day,” says Hostess.

How nice of the folks who brought us Twinkies, Ding Dongs, and Ho Hos to market one of their sugar-white-flour-palm oil creations as an energy boost.

It’s hard to imagine a more perfect pick-me-up...for Hostess, that is.